Testimonials - The VASES Program
Here are some real-life testimonials about The VASES Program and our Workshops from ordinary Singaporeans which we are honoured to share
LYFer Alumni 1
The LYF workshop highlighted many key issues on family relationships. It raised my awareness of the opportunities and actions that eluded me. My childhood years were difficult owing to when my father passed on when he was only 48 years old. I was eight years old and had nine other siblings from the ages of four to twenty years. My mother was struggling to put food on the table. My three older sisters & an elder brother had to get menial jobs at an early age to help. Our mother was probably caught up with her own struggles or unaware of the importance of family bonding. The consequence was the subsequent impact on many of us as we grew up and raised our own families. The LYF workshop created greater awareness of the importance of developing and maintaining good family ties. We learned that our relationships are seen through our behaviour & actions. They are described by the acronym “VASES”. These tools are applicable and remain relevant throughout various stages of our life. I wish this workshop was available to me before I became a husband and a father.
LYFer Alumni 2
I would like to express my heartfelt gratitude and appreciation for the help of LYF and my facilitator. Through the “VASES” program, I received kind support and encouragement, learning how to value and appreciate my family members in order to build better and healthy relationships. It gives me hope to endure and move on. Thank you.
LYFer Alumni 3
Growing up poor and in a foreign country, my parents were always busy working to make a living. They had very little time for my brother, sister and me, and we had to mostly look after ourselves. When I turned seven years old, my parents sent my older brother and me to Hong Kong to learn Chinese so we wouldn’t forget our roots. I did not know I would not see my mother for the next three and half years. She returned to the UK, and left my brother and me to live with our grandparents in Hong Kong. We had never met our grandparents before then, and these circumstances added to my traumatic childhood. This led to burying my feelings continually. When I grew up and got married, I aimed to be a good father. I promised that I would not be away from my children, no matter my time-constraints. I managed to be at most of their school events, and also at home when we could work after the COVID-19 time. But I was only physically there and not mentally or spiritually. They could tell, and I felt to be a real failure as a father. It was a far cry from what I hoped. My childhood trauma of being on my own and to fend for myself did not help my relationship with my wife either. I worried that I would end up looking after myself and no one in the world would help - just like I felt when I was abandoned as a little boy in Hong Kong. Therefore, family life was very tough as I was dealing with this “on my own.” I was then introduced to Love Your Family’s “VASES” program. It started to help me properly deal with what I was going through. My ability to love others started with my ability to value myself - my self-worth, my self-acceptance, before I was able to love others. Through appreciation and spending time with each other, I was more able to start to become part of the family I had longed for. I began to heal from what I lacked growing up as a small boy far away from my parents. The VASES program and LYF workshop support helped me to develop and build my family relationships. It helped me to recognise and look past previous challenges for a healthy relationship with different family members. Since I excelled in my studies and my work, I had the misconception that I couldn’t find help from others and again need to look after myself. This LYF program showed me the otherwise - that I have so much to learn and gain from others and I can excel in this area too!
LYFer Alumni 4
The key points I learned from the “VASES” program is to Value and Appreciate Self and Others by identifying my personal strengths that can be used to start building interpersonal relationships with others.